2011 Submissions:
Because It Plays My Favorite Song
by Rebekah
Chapter Two
His chocolate eyes were normally warm and inviting and at that moment, they were strong, firm and piercing, just like they usually were when he wanted his way.
"Zac, we can't," I reasoned.
"Yes, we can. And we will."
Wanted his way would be a bit of a stretch. Because by 'wanted', it was really 'demanded'. He was always demanding. But when the news of his illness came, it just increased. I think he saw his decrease in time as an advantage. He didn't use the 'I'm dying, give me my way' card often. But he picked and knew the perfect spots to use it. Apparently, he felt this was one of them.
"Zac-"
"Tay," he interrupted, using the tone he always did when I was annoying him. He constantly accused me of trying to protect him from life or taking my role as older brother a little too seriously. But it was my responsibility to protect him. Our days were limited. Protecting him meant protecting, and possibly extending, the number of days we had together. So it only made sense to me, while he refused to acknowledge I had a point. This only meant that I did.
"I've done my research-"
"Research?"
"And I have the time mapped out-"
"What?"
"So it can happen. Don't worry," he smiled and walked away before I could say anything else or ask any more questions. I stood there dumbfounded for probably about twenty minutes until he finally returned. I opened and closed my mouth a few times, genuinely unsure of what to say.
"This is my dying wish, Tay," he slid the tips of his fingers underneath my shirt, grazing the skin on my hips. "It can't happen without you."
My resolve was crumbling. And when a little smirk played on the corner of his lips, I knew he knew it too.
"You're a turd," I sighed, pulling him into a hug.
"I love you too, Tay," he kissed my neck then released me. Before I could say anything else or even come up with another way to protest, he was gone...AGAIN! Leaving me with only his words and my doubts. Nothing ever worked out the way that it should. If it did, we'd have a long life together.
As the days passed, I began to get even more nervous. When he first presented it to me that he wanted to have sex I was ready to hire him a prostitute. When he said he wanted to have sex with me I laughed. Out loud. Because there was no way he could be serious. When he assured me that he was, I began to panic. There was no way I could have sex with him. He was under aged. He was a guy. He was my brother. And I shouldn't have even amused him in thinking he could talk me into it. He couldn't. He wouldn't. I wouldn't let him. I would put my foot down and keep it down. And I did. That was until he laid out the reasons he wanted to. And they seemed like good and valid reasons to have sex with someone, to give yourself over to them, to give them something that you didn't want anyone else to have. Respect. Wanting to share it with them. Wanting to be connected with someone on a deeper level. Wanting them to have your virginity, share your first time. And most of all, love.
He had overheard a conversation my parents were having with our neighbors about everything he would miss. Sex was one of them. Majority of the list he couldn't change. They were just things that came with time, experience and living. But that was one he felt he could. And he could change it with me. He wanted to change it with me. Sex. The three letter curse word in our religious house. I'm sure incest was the more significant curse word as far as religion is concerned. Or even society. I didn't want to think about it honestly. I felt like I could only solve one problem at a time, and that was the one I was focused on.
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